During this week’s exercise many different experiences occurred. Loving-kindness is not a new concept or experience. However, experiencing in a non-physical way is a different method. The first attempt contained mixed moments. The immediate affects of clearing the mind were very positive, but focus was broken and I had to restart a couple of times. Finally, I could feel myself melting away. The sensation was as though my body had dissolved and only the consciousness remained. This startled me at first, breaking the moment. I was excited and exhilarated! After walking about for a moment to shake off the tendency to analyze what had just happened I began again. The mind cleared quickly and the slow sensation of melting away returned. I watched myself disappear while remaining detached from thought or emotion.
Following the prompts I visualized those very dear to me, one at a time. If “mind-chatter” began I let the person drift away until I was able to fully direct myself to a single individual. It was as though I had become a waterfall, rushing, spilling and filling my loved one with loving-kindness. The sensation was one of fullness and emptiness at the same moment, a completeness filled with peace. Turning this inward brought a blaze of warmth radiating throughout.
Shifting focus to one that was suffering caused a ripple within. The feelings and images associated with those close passed by quickly. Breathing in the suffering was witnessed as though I was a spectator; watching the ephemeral scene as suffering dissolved. The breath in was heavy and the breath out revitalized. Flashes of images offered suggestions very brief, fluttering scrapes of color.
Expansion of this to a field of faceless images caused a deeper ripple. Heaviness, grayness almost oppressive filled my lungs. (breathe-in, breathe-out) The breath out was light and bright and pouring over the field much like a swollen river leaving its banks; seeping into every nook and crevasse. As I continued the darkness lifted, brightening with each breathe. The flood was absorbed and the faceless individuals became a field of colorful wild flowers.
Yes, I would recommend this exercise. For me it was an exercise of belief. I began fully believing something new was to be experienced. I was not disappointed. Repeated attempts bring more calmness and greater depth. By the fourth day (maybe fifth) there was a confidence and further outreach. Simultaneously, the inner peace grew.
Your description of the experience is eloquent. You have literally taken the meditation to heart and transformed your belief system. It sounds like you are open to consciousness raising and your openness and ability to tame the mind will serve you well on your journey. Congratulations I could not be happier for you. Now if only I could stop my tendency to analyze....
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words. This has been a journey for many years. The stops along the way have enriched the process. I have found (for myself) opening the heart catapults you into levels of consciousness once thought mythical. The inner peace and tranquility are a refreshing breath of fresh air in a sometimes-suffocating world. I think analyzing is part of being human. We must utilize the witnessing mind to move forward, but sometimes it interferes with our progress. Have you tried analyzing as a spectator? Step back observe and let it go, much like looking out the window and noting the scene without immediately noting the details. Sometimes this allows a “snapshot” without detracting from the goal.
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